My sister and I have always been really close. She’s my person, the one I turn to when I need advice or someone to lean on. Because she’s older, I’ve always looked up to her. It was about ten years ago when she wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. She was incredibly excited and I was excited for her.
She said, “I hope you two get along.”
And I said, “Of course we’ll get along. Why wouldn’t we?”
I meant that, and I still do. We get along, but secretly I can’t stand him. I can’t tell her that, of course. I can’t tell her that she could have done way better; that the sweet man who treated her well in the beginning and now dismisses her needs a kick in the nuts.
I can’t let her know that I hate how he sits back and lets her handle everything, from cleaning the house, to working full time, to doing all the shopping, and cooking.
I hate how he rolls his eyes when she talks about things she wants to do with their house. Especially since she’s the breadwinner and should be able to create a home and space that she wants without his negativity, which by the way, doesn’t make any sense because he doesn’t even care about home decor. But he still acts like he has an opinion when she wants to change something.
I think it’s weak that she’s the one who calls a plumber or electrician when something goes wrong with the house because he’s too busy or doesn’t want to deal with it. Then when another man comes into the house to fix something that desperately needs fixing, he’ll tear them apart and tell her all the reasons why he doesn’t like who she hired.
I so want to say, “Well maybe you could pick up the phone and pick the right contractor instead of sitting on the sofa staring at your laptop, buddy.”
But that wouldn’t be good for me and my sister, and things have to stay good for me and my sister.
This is her marriage, and as long as she decides to stay in it, I have to keep my mouth shut. Obviously the story would be different if she was in danger, but she’s not and can handle this relationship without my input.
To be fair, he doesn’t like me either. He’s never said this, and my sister has never told me he doesn’t like me but I can see it in his squinty little eyes every time I show my sister something I’m doing or buying for myself and she seems interested.
He often just leaves the room when I come over (see ya!), and says it’s because he’s tired, which I’m sure he is when I’m around. It must be really hard to have someone take away a little bit of your servant’s — I mean wife’s — attention.
Just getting this out makes me feel better. It’s not something I’ve shared with my other family members because I’d feel like such an asshole if my sister found out. Maybe someday I’ll corner him and tell him how I really feel.
Oh, that would be so satisfying. For now, my sister seems happy. If she’s not, she’s not sharing it with me and I’m not going to poke and prod unless she starts venting to me.
For now, I guess I’ll just write about it.