Women are often damned if they do and damned if they don’t when it comes to accepting a compliment, especially from a man. If we are polite and agree with the compliment, we’re seen as egotistical. If we accept the compliment with a polite smile, we may accidentally welcome more unwanted interactions. If we ignore them, we’re rude. There’s really no winning.
Apparently, this conundrum starts at the ripe age of six years old.
TikTok mom Liz Kindred posted a video to her TikTok account, detailing a strange and awkward encounter she had with an older gentleman while out with her six-year-old daughter, sparking a conversation about complimenting little kids’ appearances and how to navigate these kinds of interactions as parents.
“I was in line this morning with my six-year-old and a grown man turned around and said to my six-year-old, ‘My goodness, you sure are pretty,’” Liz begins.
“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she’s an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight and I’m pretty chill. I’m in a 12-step program so I’m less knee-jerk reactionary these days. I’m pretty chill. And then he repeated himself, ‘You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes.’ My daughter grabs me a little tighter.”
She notes that she acknowledges his compliment with a little agreeable noise and smile, hoping to leave it there.
“He’s a boomer and God love him. And he said, ‘I guess your mom didn’t teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [noise], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she recalls.
I thought We’re gonna be here awhile. I said very quietly, in a nice, firm Jesus-loving way, posted as a question because I know men, guys love that. And I said, “If you assume that I didn’t teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct.”
“And there was silence for five more minutes. And it was the longest silence of my life,” she concluded.
Hundreds praised Liz for her response to the man, noting that they wouldn’t have had the capacity to be as nice about it.
“Gen x mom here. NEVER thought of it this way! Thank you for opening my eyes for when my grandbabies are born,” one user noted.
Another shared, “I remember being taught, by my dad, to say yes to every boy who asked me to dance ‘because it’s hard for those boys to get up that courage just to ask and it’s the least I could do.’ 😖😖😖.”
One user thought that Liz’s reaction was over the top and wrote, “Sometimes it’s just people being kind.”
“Giving a compliment with an expectation to fulfill the ego is unkind,” she responded.
After receiving several comments like the above, Liz posted a response video to clarify a few things from her viral clip.
“My daughters don’t owe any grown adult a ‘thank you’ for complimenting the way they look, especially if it makes them uncomfortable, which it did,” she says matter-of-factly.
“My daughters aren’t responsible for the way adults feel. I am not responsible for the way you feel and choose to show up on this God-forsaken app and project your own insecurities and unresolved trauma onto strangers on the internet.”
MIC DROP! GO MOM!
