“Taking care of kids is actually so easy and chill,” said no one ever, except maybe someone who isn’t fully responsible for said children!
Look, I babysat for years, and loved doing it, but even a few hours could be draining if someone was having a big feelings day or picking a fight with their sibling.
So, when a dad comes online bragging about how taking care of the kids is NBD, moms like Jenna of @ifitwerentfunny on TikTok are reasonably astounded.
“I just saw a video where a dad said, ‘So how are we explaining to our wives that when we’re with the kids and they’re gone, it’s easy as hell?’” Jenna shared in a video.
Um… what???
Jenna explained that the dad attributed this discrepancy to moms’ inability to maintain boundaries with their children. No, really.
Now, we don’t know this dad or his relationship with his wife. But, Jenna explained that for most of, the real reasons moms have a tougher time with the kids is not a failure on their part, but a consequence of being the primary parent.
“The real reason is, it’s because you’re not that child’s emotional well, the mother is,” she said. “You’re just not the person that that child has been literally and figuratively tethered to for their entire life.”
“And we can test this theory,” she continued. “When your wife comes home, do your kids immediately run over to her and shout, ‘Mommy, Mommy?’ Do the vibes change in your house when your wife gets back? That’s because their person just walked into the room. And we’re hardest on our people.”
Yup. Moms aren’t exaggerating when they say it’s tough looking after the kids — they probably are literally asking more of her. So, to go back to the original question, how should dads approach this issue?
“The question is really not, why is it so much easier than it is for my wife when I have my kids alone?” Jenna said. “It should be, what can I do as a dad to emotionally meet the needs of my kids in a way that takes some of that off of my wife’s plate.”
“Probably an exercising futility, but you can try,” she added.
The comments widely agreed with Jenna.
“My kids are 15 and 17. My husband could be home ALL day with them and the minute I walk in after work, they’re downstairs with all the requests. Your DAD was home all day! 🤦🏽♀️” one user shared.
“They aren’t doing 90% of what the mom is doing when at home with the kids. it’s like having a substitute in a math class that doesn’t teach math. they just sit there& try to maintain life,” another added.
However, others were a bit defensive.
“These comments are wild,” one user said. “Not all dads are emotionally deficient.”
And true, they’re not! But, users were quick to point out that Jenna and other commenters were discussing ones who are.
“My husband would never say, ‘The kids are just better for me.’ He’s also their safe place and you can tell, because they also drive him nuts,” a user responded.
That sounds like a good rule of thumb: if your kids aren’t driving you a little crazy, you might not be parenting hard enough.
